The Worst Things to Say to Someone With OCD Psychology or Mental Health
By Anik Hassan – Forbes Contributor
Opening
Just last week, a top‑tier management firm disclosed that 4.3 % of its workforce is coping with obsessive‑compulsive disorder (OCD). That single statistic is a stark reminder that mental health is no longer a niche. Yet, it’s also a quiet crisis that many corporations are still treating like a footnote.
When the company’s leadership introduced a new wellness program, the first line in their internal memo was, “Let’s get your mind out of the weeds.” The comment seemed harmless—after all, a bit of motivation is part of a culture of high performance—but experts say it’s a textbook example of how even well‑meaning words can do immense damage to those battling OCD.
The problem spreads through investors, customers, and, most critically, the employees themselves. The ripple effect influences hiring cycles, retention rates, and, ultimately, the bottom line. If companies fail to recognize the subtle ways language shapes employee well‑being, those “invisible” costs could snowball into tangible financial losses.
Key Data
| Finding | Source |
|---|---|
| 1 in 14 adults in the U.S. will experience OCD at some point, with more than 55 % of them seeking help later in life. | U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) |
| Companies that actively support mental‑health employees report a 17 % higher employee engagement vs. those that don’t. | Gallup Global Workplace Analytics, 2023 |
| Up to 80 % of employees with OCD feel misunderstood in the workplace, citing micro‑aggressions over “weird” behaviors. | International OCD Foundation Workforce Survey, 2024 |
These numbers illustrate a clear trend: workplaces that cultivate empathy and understanding don’t just save lives—they also save money. And yet, in an era where corporate PR often glosses over genuine employee concerns, the worst words spoken to an individual with OCD can still find its way into boardroom emails and casual chats.
Connecting the Data to The Worst Things to Say to Someone With OCD Psychology
When a coworker with OCD feels they’re being judged or dismissed, stress spirals. That, in turn, heightens anxiety and worsens compulsive rituals—often leading to absent days, lower productivity, and higher turnover. The data above pin down the correlation between a supportive culture and tangible business outcomes: a higher engagement rate, fewer costs from lost productivity, and a better brand reputation.
But it’s not just the numbers that matter; it’s the words that unlock or lock the doors employees feel they’re trapped in. Think of the first line in that wellness memo. It’s not just a phrase; it’s a micro‑aggression.
The most damaging comments can be subtle, like:
- “I’d love for you to get your head out of that…”
- “It’s just stress. You need to get over it.”
- “Can’t you just calm down?”
Each of these messages reduces a complex condition to a simple, solvable problem—ignoring lived experience, stigmatizing, and, ultimately, hurting productivity.
The Worst Things to Say to Someone With OCD Psychology: Step‑by‑Step Guide
Below is a practical outline for managers, HR professionals, and colleagues alike. It helps identify and replace the most harmful words with supportive alternatives. Each step includes a short example and a micro‑practice to shift language instantly.
1. Acknowledge the Condition, Not the Symptom
Why it matters: Saying “Your hand-washing is excessive” reduces OCD to an annoying habit. It signals judgment, not empathy.
Step: Begin any conversation with a quick, respectful acknowledgment: “I understand that the hand‑washing has become a major source of stress for you.”
Micro‑practice: Pause after hearing their detail, then paraphrase to show you recognize the emotional weight.
2. Use ‘I’ Statements to Share Perspective, Not ‘You’ Accusations
Why it matters: Accusatory language (“You are …”) can trigger a defensive posture and trigger more compulsions.
Step: Replace “You should stop checking the lock” with “I think we could look at alternative ways to ensure security that might ease your concerns.”
Micro‑practice: Make a mental note to count to three before replying, so it shows deliberateness rather than reflex.
3. Offer Concrete Support, Not Generic Advice
Why it matters: “Just calm down” is dismissive. It implies the individual can simply control the disorder, which is unrealistic.
Step: Offer resources: “The health plan includes CBT, and I can help you set up an appointment.”
Micro‑practice: Carry a small card with the mental‑health hotline number—hand it out without prompting.
4. Avoid ‘Weird’ or “Odd” Language about Behaviors
Why it matters: Referring to rituals as “odd” shames behaviors and can derail a conversation into shame.
Step: Replace “That’s a weird ritual” with “It sounds like you’re trying to manage anxiety in a very personal way.”
Micro‑practice: Replace the adverb “weird” habitually with “unique” or “personal” when correcting.
5. Confirm Autonomy, Don’t Impose Solutions
Why it matters: Enforced workplace changes without employee consensus can feel controlling.
Step: Ask: “Would you like to review the workspace ergonomics together to see if any adjustments help?”
Micro‑practice: When planning changes, send a follow‑up email that explicitly thanks them for a conversation rather than a directive.
6. Avoid “Excuses” Language
Why it matters: Statements like “I know that’s difficult” while well‑intentioned, can reduce complex feelings to single words and inadvertently blame self.
Step: Use “I get that this feels complicated” or “I can see how it adds to your burden.”
Micro‑practice: Write the phrase “I get” one time, then remember it for the next 5 conversations.
7. Never Suggest Medication as a Quick Fix
Why it matters: Commenting on prescription status implies moral judgment and disrespects personal autonomy.
Step: Say: “Have you discussed the treatment plan with your physician? If you need a referral, let me know.”
Micro‑practice: Keep a mental note of “We’re here for support” instead of “We need you to fix this.”
8. Set Clear Boundaries, Without Triggering
Why it matters: “We can’t have you do that” or “That’s not part of your job” can be a trigger.
Step: State the role’s needs and frame accommodations: “Your role requires rapid response; let’s find a protocol that keeps you safe.”
Micro‑practice: Use the phrase “Let’s explore” before stating limitations.
9. Emphasize Collaboration, Not Ownership
Why it matters: Saying “You’re responsible for this” puts a burden on the employee and can trigger guilt.
Step: Say “We’ll tackle this together” before outlining processes.
Micro‑practice: Keep a mental checklist of “team” before mentioning “you.”
10. Avoid the “Everything’s Fine” Platitudes
Why it matters: Minimizing problems (“We’re all fine”) can invalidate an individual’s struggle and add shame.
Step: Replace with: “It’s okay to have challenges. How can we help you?”
Micro‑practice: Insert the phrase “It’s okay” in every email subject line that follows the conversation.
People Of Interest Or Benefits
“The moment we started providing real, actionable support—like tailored coaching for tasks that trigger compulsions—our no‑show rate dropped by 23 %,” said Dr. Miriam Sanchez, a leading OCD physician who has consulted for Fortune‑500 firms. “The cost savings are matched by the intangible benefit: employees who feel seen and valued return to work more energized, and the company’s culture shifts toward genuine empathy.”
This anecdote shows that small, mindful changes to spoken language can have a measurable positive effect on a company’s bottom line, and that the “worst” sentences can be systematically transformed into assets.
Looking Ahead: Real‑World Consequences
Over the past three years, the corporate world has begun to quantify mental‑health costs. Harvard Business Review published a piece showing that absenteeism related to untreated mental health issues climbs to $50 billion annually. That figure includes both the lost hours and the ripple injuries on revenue.
Now, industry analysts predict that by 2028, nearly 35 % of global employers will mandate language‑training for all senior staff—a move that signals a shift from stigma to systematic cultural change. Companies that do not adapt will likely see higher turnover, a starker talent gap, and decreased investor confidence.
This is not only about saving money; it’s also about safeguarding the dignity of every employee. A 2025 Deloitte survey found that 72 % of employees with mental illness felt their words were “often misunderstood or misinterpreted.” That percentage translates directly into churn, onboarding costs, and, ultimately, diminished productivity.
The real-world fallout from careless language is now becoming painfully clear: poor morale, higher turnover, and a brand tarnished by micro‑aggression. Conversely, firms that embed empathetic communication as a core competency gain an unprecedented advantage in talent acquisition and brand loyalty.
Closing Thought
Are we, as a corporate world, ready to rewrite the script and replace “Let’s get your head out of the weeds” with a genuine invitation to collaborate? The time to act is now. One simple change in the words we speak has the potential to transform an entire organization—and to do so, we must start by telling the right things to the right people. Will the corporate narrative shift from “productivity” to “humanity” before the next CEO resigns over a micromissing comment? The only answer is one – by listening first, I’ll do better next time.
